Long road ahead...

It's been about a month and a half since I last blogged. I was spending every spare second with my husband, who is now gone. That sounds ominous. He's not gone for good, just until the middle of September. AIT for the Army. 10 long weeks without him. I took him for granted. I didn't realize how much I needed him until he was gone. You would think I would know, since we went through this last summer, but it's amazing how much a year can make you forget. Forget the longing. Forget the pain. Forget the heartache. Now it's all back. I miss him terribly. I wake up in the morning and look beside me at the empty bed where he used to lay. I know he is waking up in Missouri, doing the same. Sometimes, it hurts to breathe. The loneliness is stifling. Family and friends try to make it better, and I am so grateful for them, but it's just not the same. My best friend is a thousand miles away...16 hours. We can't even talk on the phone right now. Thoughts of him consume me. Is he doing ok? I can only hope. I guess at this point, no news is good news. I just thank God everyday for him and that this isn't a deployment. My heart goes out to those whose spouses are serving overseas. God bless each and every one of them. I love you Charles.

My First Mother's Day!

It was wonderful! I took full advantage of having the hubby home with me all weekend. This was a first in many weeks. Guess what I wanted to do? CLEAN! I had every intention of cleaning all day Saturday so I could enjoy the actual day on Sunday. Well, that didn't go as planned because Drake came down with a cold on Thursday. And that meant I came down with a cold on Thursday. So, all day Saturday, I sat my happy hind end on the couch and watched reruns of One Tree Hill. The hubby and Drake slept in the chair for 3 hours! 3! I loved it. After lazing around all afternoon, we got up and went out. Where, you ask?? Why, to Wal-mart, of course! We bought Drake a mess-proof bib! He started eating green beans on Saturday, his 5 month birthday! What a big boy! After feeding them to him, we realized cloth bibs do not cut it. Then, we ate at Zaxby's. It was a good Saturday. Sunday, I woke up feeling even worse, but trucked through some cleaning. We decided to eat at Cracker Barrel for Mother's Day. Delish! But, I still felt like yuckliness. So did the hubby. Drake was fine. We headed to Wal-mart (shocking!) and then to the in-laws, then finally home. Thankfully, I feel much better today, however, I was a little disappointed that on my first Mother's Day, I was sick. Boo.

3 weeks!

No, I'm not three weeks pregnant...I think I would pass out instead of blog. What I mean is: 3 weeks until my sweet sweet husband is home with me for summer vacation! I cannot wait! June will be an outstanding month! I am so ready to spend day in and day out with him for an entire month. I intend to occupy his time entirely. It is so bittersweet. I've waited all year for June to roll around so we could be together with our baby, but at the same time, I've been dreading June. Because once June is gone, so is he. For 3 months. 3...long...months...It's the hardest thing ever. Being apart. Waking up from a dream about him and realizing your best friend is not beside you. Walking into the kitchen to fix coffee and knowing he won't be there to share a cup with you. Eating alone, whether at home or at a restaurant. Taking the dog for our evening stroll without him. Taking care of our sweet baby, wondering if what you're doing is right and wishing you had his opinion to help you out. The loneliness. That's the worst. It's so hard having your best friend with you everyday, then having him ripped from the fabric of your life for 3 months. I really shouldn't complain since it is 3 months. At least it's not forever...I love you hubby! You don't know how much you will be missed.

Getting to Know You

My friend from college does this on her blog and I love reading it! It's a lot of fun, so I figured I would do it to and let my 4 followers know all about me :) Thanks Amber!

The questions..



1. If you could star in any movie genre..what would it be..romance..horror..comedy..suspense or action?
Well, I used to say horror, but now I'm such a chicken. Overactive imagination! Definitely comedy because there is nothing like laughing to make you feel better.


2. Do you recycle?
Nope. I'm so lazy.
3. Have you ever been to a strip clup?
Yes. A real one and a rinky dink one in Carrollton. Why? I'll never know. I guess just to say I have been, although that's really nothing to brag about.

4. Do you have a nickname?
Juliebean, Jules, Julio
5. What's a name you can't stand to be called?
I don't really think there is one I absolutely can't stand to be called...unless it's obnoxious...
6. What are your Summer staples?
Tank tops, flip flops, diet coke, Jimmy Buffett and Kenny Chesney
7. What was the last thing you bought for yourself?
Breast milk storage bags and nursing pads. A real treat, right? Oh, and a book. That was a real treat!

8. Are you happy with your boob size?
No! They are too big at the moment! I just want to lay on my tummy again! It has been over a year since I've done that!

Feeling helpless...

I have no idea what to do with my 4 month old son. I mean, you can only jump in a jumperoo, do tummy time, swing, and bounce in your bouncer for so long. I feel like he is getting bored. They can do that you know. Get bored. I also feel guilty when I'm not right there with him 24/7 while he is awake. Is that wrong? I mean, I feel like I get absolutely nothing done. Our favorite thing to do here lately is to go for a walk. But, it has been so cold the past few days, that has been out of the question. I guess the reason for this blog is that I feel helpless. I don't want him just lying around on his back. I feel like he needs to be active, but I have no idea what to do. If there are any ideas out there, or you have been through this too, please tell me and let me know what you did! :)

2 days until spring break!

Thank God. I am so ready for my hubby to be here with us for 4 whole days. I need a break. Is that bad to say? Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my baby boy. I just hate having to be the only one home during the day when he goes down for a nap. Or when he wakes up in the middle of one. He cries. I cry. It breaks my heart to just leave him in the crib. I do go in and try to soothe, but I try not to pick him up. I am hoping against hope that it will get easier. A little guy his age is supposed to take a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap. He wakes up after about an hour sometimes. I know he needs his sleep, but is it really sleeping when he is crying? He is supposed to learn to soothe himself to sleep. I just want to soothe him myself. This is sooo hard. Can you tell I'm typing this as I listen to him cry? Come on Spring Break!!!

Am I Babywise...or do I have a wise baby?

Both. Drake is wise. He knows how to tug at my heartstrings to get what he wants. However, this week, we are trying Babywise again. I tried it when he was first born...not so much. I was stressing myself out over it. I did take the eat/wake/sleep idea and ran with it. That has worked out well. Now, I'm trying the sleep part. So far, it sucks. The first nap went swimmingly. He slept from 10:45-12:15. His second nap is not going as well. Apparently the 45 minute intruder snuck in and woke him up. So I fed him. And changed him. And he's still crying. Not just wimpering, but screaming crying. I hate it! I know there is nothing wrong with him physically, but I just ache to go pick him up. Oh Lord, how long is this going to last?